29 November, 2009

Love Song

I spent the last few days convinced myself that he doesn't matter anymore.
Yet this morning I woken up and immediately thinking of him...
I thought I have lost my ability to feel
I thought I have gone numb
But I had gone back and forth playing love songs
and spoiled my mind away...

For me love always happen accidentally, in an unexpected way. Despite my-oh-not-so-young age, I only have been in love four times; the first one when I was in elementary school, the second one was with a boy in my confirmation class, the third one when I was 21, and the fourth happened here in Maastricht. 

My first to third love were these light-skinned good looking men, so I first thought I have these 'shallow' taste when it comes to men, heavily influenced by his physical appearance. But this time the story is more like that Tiffany song..."love is blind". 

Now, I fall by what I sense in him; a leadership quality in him, heavy burden he carries in his shoulder, his warm heart and kindness, plus a sharp mind that is able to see through people nonsense as well absorbing science theory. 

But how many women could be lucky enough to dating her crush? No matter what continent it is, relationship usually starts by men.

Men get to choose, women learn to love. Men love with his head, women love with all her heart. 

And then, after seeing his woman at her worst moment, some men could easily retracts his love. 

That's why a woman in love is a woman in danger, a woman at risk of being miserable, of being jealous, of being hurt. A woman who opens her heart is a woman putting herself in a very fragile state. 

As sick as it sounds, the world goes exactly like those Patti Smith's lyrics..."baby sometimes love just ain't enough". 

Because in order to stay in love and always be loved by her partner, a woman needs strategy.